Insomnia is neither a sickness nor anything in particular, its best describe as a creature living in your memory lane feasting on your tattered and jaded soul , tagging along with insomnia's best friend paranioa they will break you down by showing you unwanted visuals that haunt you , destroy you thus breaking you down. This creature of mine had been inside me for years. Thou I have manage to vanquish this demon for the pass 4 years or so until recently it started to retaliate .
Returning from the shrouds of darkness its now stronger then ever , tormenting me with my greatest fear from concurrent events. Neither am i a murderer , nor with guilt consciences , i am still human i still do have paranioa . I guess paranioa is the root of every bad thing that happened to me.
Its true i aint that optimistic . I live in a dull world of black and white or maybe just black. The old cheerful me was already killed back in the service with empty promises of hopes and dreams . Living in fear and injustice . No doubt this is how insomia got his way back .
I hope i can still survive from this ever stressful world Or should i say boring world of mine .
This is kenshin here speaking.. Paranioa is all that i got left and is insomnia that is killing me ------------------------- 9Thursday, November 22, 2007 yes , i went to group study today . nevertheless i studied like 2 chapters and we spend rest of the time chatting , gossip about classmates and planning our holiday trips yeah it was fun thou we never really learn anything -__- we packed up at around 5pm as we started at around maybe 12 .
Five hours of crazy laughters and madness made us hungry took a bite at this nana thai restraunt at far east plaza where i didnt ate much . Well , it is because I HATE spicy food !hee hee We went on a bag hunt after the meal as Nas needs a new bag , and the hunt ended with no avail . Found out that my persuasion skills has weaken ! Thanks to kelvin , not his style of persuasion works for everyone . Taught farheem and naseera to speak chinese language while on the way home , about how sexy shileen leg was ! thats a joke . Damn , i never noticed her legs maybe someday i will ? L OL ?
Met up with Mr Chan for our usual jog.. but not as usual.. we tried out speed trainning , army style of sprinting for 30seconds and resting for 1 minute on our usual jogging track and thanks to this trainning my new balance shoe was like tattered after the stupid run . But the trainning was effective thou . I was personally sweating like some sweater . ok it isnt funny . Ended with some pull ups at our usual hang out the fitness corner . Talked about cars , girls as usual while we headed back home . Home sweet home at 11.30am . Started studying at 12 to 1 am Then dota from 1 to 2 am now blogging okok its ending i dont want to brag about the dota game its sucks anyway . Absolutely Kemon's Life 100 percent Boredom ! ------------------------- 9Saturday, November 17, 2007 Afew days back , i got to shop at heerens . As it was christmas sales and i bought this film at $7.45 in hmv .Its titled Schindler's List . It actually did made me drop afew tears.. The content about the show i aint gonna review but its really something very touching.. where ur teardrops are far more worthwhile then watching some korean's sadistic love drama yawn. Yes it made me think , I actually found out more about myself after this show somehow inspired by this flick . Those thoughts made me realised how much i have changed. I have cleared afew doubts and worries get to sort things out eventually found out how much i should cherish my current situations and loved ones . I rate this movie a big 5 stars !
We are all given life to wait for death . Kenshin ------------------------- 9Monday, November 5, 2007 Changes versatiles From time to time people changes. Young to old , Naive to Sophisticated . Implying even on Kenshin, Forced to change by his surroundings , Kenshin tolerated betrayal and failure Paranoia devour deeper into his wound every time he strives can he ameliorate ?
The only way to abstain from lemon is to have no expectations , as the old saying goes the more you climb the higher you fall . ------------------------- 9Saturday, November 3, 2007 When confronted by our worst nightmare the choices are few.
Fight or Flight ?
We always hope to find the strength to stand against our fear but sometimes despite ourselves we run
But
What if the nightmare gives chase?
Where can we hide then ?
No one knows exactly whats is actually lurking inside a humans brain . Even if you are their closest kin or friend they might actually betray you at the very last moment. We aren't some young kids who at most will fight amongst each other for toy figurines .What we conjure is far more critical as we grow up to be more emotional and intelligent
Here is a story of a poor chap who had been living in his fantasies of trust , love and friendship .. awoken from his stupidity he fights on to find his true destiny.
A naive chap who thinks that there's actually such terms called "friends" who would care for someone in this ever-so-realistic world. After a series of betrayals, the naive one still wishes to give his so-called "brother" a chance, when the "brother" apologizes for his past mistakes.
"In spite of his buddies's advices, he gave in and hoped.
Yet, it's just another hook-up.
In order to be acknowledged as a "brother", this particular person will tell him all sorts of tales to gain his trust.
Deception is the word for their bond of 7 years .
Upon Knowing this sly one who only goes for cheap thrills and will go into desperate means to get what he wants. What he did was betraying the naive guy 's trust for just a girl ..leaving naive guy in a quagmire . You may think i am referring to some drama serial but its happening all right here in Singapore. Yes i know this naive kid very well.
He's here to stab the naive one on his back, in a desperate bid to hide his bad deeds Yes the crafty one is not the devil ,he is not worth to be one either . . hes just a human a mere human that claims to be your best brother !
So what of the girl ? she still thinks the annihilation of this silly thing called friendship is because of her.. its was never.The naive one felt disappointed to have such a close friend who betrayed him, not just once but thrice.
Aware of his foolishness, he seeks to find tranquility - a never ending quest that started ever since he was borned.
You might think of this as a catastrophe but the naive guy thinks otherwise.
"Its just bad luck . "
The story of the poor chap ends here . I really felt sorry for this poor guy who had been living in his fantasies of friendship and love..
What i learnt from this story .
This is reality .. Control it or be controlled.
This is Kenshin here speaking ....
Kept in memories and photographs.. taken out only to admire after a long time .
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Hatred Name : K e n s h i n
School : Psb Academy
Hobbies :Swim , Sun Tanning , Sleep , Eat
Email : Findmeguilty@hotmail.com
Hates : Myself & Korean garbage
Loves :Opposite Sex
Quote Of The Day : yao hiong jiu gan gan hiong !
